So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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