Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
