Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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