my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize