Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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