I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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