Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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