come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
