What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
