you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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