Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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