does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
either way he was missing a nipple.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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