Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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