I'm so fucking centered right now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
