I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
