If that was your dad, he is hot
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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