If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The beer is more important than you right now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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