its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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