I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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