listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize