Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
