what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
