So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she told me i tasted like america
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
