It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
