How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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