you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
