It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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