I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
