I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
