i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
