If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
