so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
