i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize