But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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