Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
