people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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