this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
