Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
