I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize