she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
