Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
