Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
this hospital has no fireball
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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