he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
