So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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