First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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