last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
