Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize