I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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