Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
