You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My vagina just clenched in fear
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
