I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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