Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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