They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
