if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
