she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
