He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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