hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
