Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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