I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
