Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
