You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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