and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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