i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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