So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am one with the molecules
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
