I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
